It is the sabbath day. Day of rest, day of waking up early because you can't sleep, reading your scriptures, making breakfast for your roommates, and getting ready for ward choir. Day of reflection on your life and thinking about what it is the Lord really wants you to be, and if you are that person yet or just a shadow of who you really could be.
This morning I was thinking about my mom. (yeah, it's mother's day) and although my mother and I have a good relationship. I would most likely describe it as strange. My mother used to spend quality time with me as a child. I beleive it is her who gave me my deep love for literature, especially children's literature and my life long dream of getting one of my children's stories published. I also beleive it was her love of singing and music that gave me the knack for making up little songs to amuse myself and the children I have worked with through the years. My mom, she is a strong woman, she is patient, and good in a way I can only hope to be. She drives me crazy too. This is something that I am still trying to figure out, but she does, and I love her dispite this. I love her sooooo much (mom I hope you are reading this).
So, here I am today, good and bad, take me or leave me, I am who I am. I am a packrat. I don't know how I aquired the gift for wanting to save every thing I have ever made or done. I have down sized let me tell you. It was hard to throw away the boxes I have full of cards I have gotten over the years. It has been hard to throw away assignments from high school and junior high. I still have some things, but not nearly as much as I used to. How do you let go of all the other things. I have NO idea.
So there is my flaw. Here is something else I realized. I am smart. Now, I don't apply myself very well, I don't excel in school I just kinda miander my way though life, but I bet if I really applied myself I could do great things. I have a gift for being able to be efficient, read people, play word games, analyze things, and love people for who they are. I like to think I am not smart, and give myself an excuse for not putting my all into everything I do, but I can't. Now I just wonder why am I so lazy, why is my attention span so short!!! This I will never know, but I do know this, I am soooo intelligent. Lucky that things come easily to me.
Well. just some ramblings, some thoughts. I am going to go and try to figure out what to do with my life now.
1 comment:
My dear Holly...
You are amazing and special! What a nice Mother's Day Post. I would hope that your mom would have read that and as to ambition to do better everyone has something they have to work on in this existence that is why we are here! At least you recognize the things that you need to work on it makes the step that much easier, but don't get to down on yourself about it. You are still amazing and brilliant!
Miss you Doni
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